Let Winter Have it's Way

                         Just a few days ago, the sun was shining.  In my backyard, children were shedding their layers and jumping with glee on our trampoline in the warmth of the Spring sun.
                            
                        But things have shifted in the air again.  It feels like winter has returned.   The chill in the air chilled us to the bone.  So, we made the last fire in our fireplace this year until winter hits again (we hope).
                           

winter scene
Kansas City winter

                        I was able to get out to a quiet place yesterday and meditate on these things: "Whyyyyyy God do we have to have winter? "  (Can you hear the childish exasperation in my voice?)
                        

Kansas City Winter Scene

                       As I viewed the panoramic tree line and gray overcast sky, I realized we have to let winter have it's way.  

                       What is the purpose of the winter season? 

     Winter provides a dormancy; a rest from the busyness of producing leaves and fruit.  A great internal work is being done that cannot be viewed externally.  But, the leaves are gone.  The fruit can't be produced, no matter what you do.  Even the color is washed out of the vegetation.  


      Have you ever felt like this?  No matter how hard you try, nothing externally wonderful is coming forth?  Your color is gone; the things you once found joy in are no longer a source of strength?  You might be in a winter season.  

      To the ordinary eye, it can seem like a time of death and dying.  But this is NOT true at all!  Something marvelous and purposeful is actually happening underneath the surface, in the internal structure of trees and plants.  And something wonderful might be happening in you!

Josiah, 3 years old, Kansas City, MO

         So often during this season we can get focused on all that's missing on the outside:  Outward success, financial gain, better production and maybe lack of His felt presence.  Instead, I wonder if we probed the Holy Spirit about what HE was doing IN us, we might gain a better understanding about what is happening outwardly?  

           For us, winter can be a time of drawing nearer to the fire of God's heart to find our source of warmth.  Its there, in the heat of His love, we realize our worth doesn't come from what we produce but from being His child.  We can let our roots reach deep and draw from the Water of His Word for our sustenance.  We can ask Him what changes or pruning need to be done while the cold winds blow.   If we surrender, we will see the wisdom of His ways.  

     Winter can be a time of great internal workings if we let it be.  Or we can choose the other option which will get us no where.  We can get frustrated that our dreams seem buried and our heart's desires not being fulfilled.  We can miss the whole purpose of our lack of production.  Or we can see under the surface and utilize it for The Kingdom's  richest gain.  

             See, the fruit we ultimately produce must be WORTHY.  It must be pure and truly life giving.  It can't just be weak, small, diseased and inedible.  It must come from a strong branch.  Good fruit has to come from a strong foundation.  A strong source.  And this strength only comes through the grip of winter and realizing HE is the ONE who produces this kind of fruit.  Not us.  Only the trees and branches that have felt the chill of winter and cooperated with it's force will produce worthy fruit when the Spring comes.  And it will come.  He is True.  His Word doesn't fail.  And all His promises are Yes and Amen. The Spring season will come again.  

Spring green!  Kansas City, MO

Flower, Butchart Gardens, Victoria, B.C.

Baby bird on our back deck Kansas City, MO

Woman, You are Strong: Strength Defined

                             Yesterday was a day to celebrate women.  I was honored by this.  Clearly, around the world the mistreatment and attack on women is very real.  Growing up in this culture, America, I experienced something maybe entirely different then most women who live in severely male dominated cultures experience every day.

                          As a child, I was privileged to be told I could do anything, be anything and that there wasn't anything I couldn't do.  I believed it.

                       Growing up I had aspirations of becoming a lawyer, a businesswoman, a marine biologist and news anchorwoman.

                         I was going to take on the world . . . and win.

                       I still believe this, that nothing is impossible for me.  But my definition of strength and being a strong woman has changed for me over the years.


                       That mouthy little girl who could argue her way out of every corner was about to get a wake up call.  Someone was about to redefine the word STRONG for me.  No longer would  quick-witted come backs and smart-mouth monologues littered with trash talk count towards my credit.  To explain, I met a man who embodied more strength and resolve than I could ever possess on a good day.  But His strength was reigned in.  His strength was immovable, like a freight train set on course that no one, not even His own weakness (if that were possible) could derail.   He wouldn't even argue or raise his voice and yet His authority when He spoke caused thousands to sit silent, hanging on every word he uttered.

                             The Gospel completely messes with us.  When Jesus came He one-upped everyone a thousand times over.  He raised the bar.  For me, what I considered strong, He considered weak.  Whaaa?  I will repeat:

                        What I considered STRENGTH, He actually considered WEAKNESS.

                         This is because He didn't just have strength, like me . . .  a wild, unharnessed beastly aggression towards those who disagreed with me.  But He possessed meekness. . . something entirely different.  He has 550 volts of strength running through his core, along with massive resolve and ability to turn off the switch.  He has ALL the strength coupled with the ability to harness that strength.

                          Because He was fully God~the One who just spoke and the cosmos was created, the One who just touched and people were completely healed, the One who just uttered a few words and humans were released of demons~He has ALL power.  And yet, He has ALL self-control.  He allowed Himself to be beaten to a pulp and nailed to a cross .  He utilized this GOD-sized self control and allowed men, the very ones he created, to mock him, beat him and nail Him to a tree without one ounce of fight, grit or resistance.  He even said, "I could've released 12 legions of angels . . ."  But He didn't.  He knew the capacity of authority He had to control the situation, and yet He gave it up and trusted Himself to His Father.  He had complete meekness.  Completed with trust in His Father.  Complete strength, but  under complete control.

                         That wasn't all.  Many tried to "launch him into ministry" before it was time.  They saw the miracles, the power, the crowds drawn to Him like moths to a flame.  They saw the potential of His platform.  But He wasn't having it.  He wasn't relying on human will to make him popular.  He didn't need the praise, accolade or acknowledgement of the world to boost his ego.  Because He had none.  He had the strength, but He possessed the self-control to match that Super-sized strength.  He knew there was a time for Him to be lifted up and exalted.  He trusted the Father for that moment, not the voices of those surrounding him.  

               But many of us have been wounded.  Trusting anyone is difficult.  We have had to fight for everything it feels like sometimes.  But, trust is what is at the heart of meekness.  Jesus gave control to One greater than Him.  

              How on earth do we trust again once that trust has been assaulted?  How do we give up control again when we feel the rug has been pulled out from under us?  
   
               Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you.  Learn of me, for I am gentle and humble (or meek) of heart."  Matthew 11:29

               He's entirely different from anyone else.  He is always gentle, all the time.  He's 100% trustworthy, able to turn around even the worst situations. He's always faithful, even when we are faithless.   He always has our BEST interest in mind, even when it doesn't feel like it.  He is humble, not accusing us and completely patient, even in our failings.  We can trust Him.  We can learn to trust again.  We CAN have a strength rooted in trust.  We CAN have a strength rooted in meekness.

                I still consider myself a "strong woman".   But my goals are a little bit different.  Okay, my goals to become an even stronger woman are A LOT different.  I want to lean into the One who can harness this powerful gift of strength.  He not only has given it to me, but to all women.  And yet without Him, I think we missing the boat.

                       We need His meekness, not just raw girl power.  We need His resolve to walk in gentleness, not just wild aggression.  We need His ability to perceive His timing, not just use our strength to exalt ourselves.

                        We are women.  We are moms.  We are businesswomen.  We are daughters.  We are grandmothers.  We are lawyers.  We are writers and marine biologists and everything in between.  But we are also carriers of His meekness, a rare form of strength that our world desperately needs.




TO BE CLEAR                          
*** In NO way am I promoting abuse or relating the abuse that Jesus suffered on our behalf to suffering abuse in relationships.  What Jesus suffered He did for us, as a specific act obedience from the Father.  Abuse in relationships should not be tolerated in any way, shape or form.  Abuse should not be the manner of any relationship and should be condemned in every way.  Healthy boundaries should always be drawn in these type of situations with the help and support of outside resources.                            

                       

For All the Broken Ones . . .

                    "Mommy, Mommy, its my turn to go with you!"  Olivia urgently reminds me.  We have started taking turns when we go to the beach.  One on one time with our children has become harder and harder to pull off these days.  They have figured out if they get up early enough we can more easily squeeze in a "date".    Josiah had already been beach combing earlier with Dad.  And now it was Olivia's turn.

                    So, we walk.  We gaze.  We let the morning sun warm our cheeks and feel the morning breeze chill our legs.  Fishermen are already out with a trusty herron or two alongside to cherry pick from their catch.  And we are searching.

                       "Ooooh, look at this one!  It looks like a heart!"  Olivia squeals with delight.

                       "Its broken though.  Try to look for the ones without the holes."  I reply, teaching her from years of experience in the craft of shell searching.

                       "But I like it." Olivia responds with disappointment.

                       Okay, you can't argue with that, can you?

                        "Okay put it in your bag." I reply.


              Over and over again, she is drawn to the broken ones.  I patiently point out the flaws and she tells me about the beautiful eye-popping colors and the redemptive new shape she sees formed by broken edges.   And I realize its much like God with us.  We can't impress Him with our flawlessness.  He is drawn to our broken edges. He takes delight in our unique bold colors and non-uniform shapes. He isn't afraid of our brokenness, but rather drawn to it.  He dwells with the broken and brings redemption to our flaws (Psalm 51:17).  He takes what another calls broken and calls it beautiful, just like Olivia was doing this morning with her tiny treasures.

             
                          The sea is calm today.  I remember the Sea of Glass that The Good Book says surrounds His Throne.  It stretches for miles, and I try to picture a Man in the middle and multitudes leaning in for a glance.

                 A thought stirs inside that forms a knot in my throat and causes my eyes to water.  Not only does He know the grains of sand on the seashore-every single one.  But, He also knows the shells, every single one.  Every single flawless one.  Every single broken one.  Even every single shell my Olivia would find today.  He knows it all.  He is God over the vast, endless spaces and God over the broken, tiny particles of sand.  He is God over the countless miles of horizon and He knows each brightly colored  shell along our path.   This One, He is unsearchable, and yet He has invited us to search Him out.

                 

Do You Love Correction? I am working on it . . .

On my heart tonight: "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction is stupid." Proverbs 12:1. 

          You heard it here, from the book that minces no words-if you hate correction you are unwise (in nicer, more palatable terms). Of course we can examine what this means a little further and realize the author was saying "God's correction is good, why despise it?! "

          So often we can lump any negative feelings we have in the same pile.  Bad feelings=bad and that must mean there is nothing God wants to show us in them.  It's true, it might be just a passing wind or an onslaught from our enemy.  But God could also want to show us something within them.  The only way to find out is to ask HIM.  We can DO NOTHING without Him (John 15:5).  So we need His help to examine these emotions.  But we would rather not.  Or we would rather "think our way through it".  Or we would rather push it all away.  We do this because we don't know how to handle the way we have known correction in the past.  It was either too harsh, without mercy or too light.  And because there is no perfect human authority figure we are all on some variance of that scale.  But, there was a man who was perfect.  He embodied all that is good.  He has a Father who likes to bestow on us good gifts.  His Spirit loves to lead us gently, but very specifically when we ask Him.  He loves to pick us back up again when we mess up and lead us into a life  of right thinking and behaving that is life giving and full of joy.  We can be really hard on ourselves.  And the enemy is always looking to condemn us too.  So sometimes its much easier just to put all those negative emotions in a pile and say "forget about it!"  But, I believe if we hold God's hand and ask Him to help us, we can find some real jewels of His correction in that pile of "you know what".  We might find lies lurking behind those emotions, empowering them.  We might find behavior and thinking that needs His readjusting and correction.  Let that pile be the fertilizer from which we mine His truth. It is worth examining those emotions to find the root. 

               For example. you might be feeling criticized by others, but why not examine the root? Maybe it's because you yourself have been critical of others in your thoughts? Or maybe there is still a root of un-forgiveness there? When we hold harsh judgement against others it holds true we will actually experience that harsh judgement for ourselves. (Matthew 6:14)

                  And guilt?  is it always something to just toss away?? No we need to examine it. Is it God actually telling us there is something not right in our behavior? If we know God's awesomely good nature we trust He will be very specific and gentle to show us if we need to change something when we ask Him. (Luke 11:13 ) When we toss out these feelings too fast rather than go to the root we actually could toss out God's conviction or correction. By learning to examine these feelings more closely and ask the Faithful Holy Spirit to guide us, we will become ones who love discipline. That's where I want to be!

              Ever learning and growing to Love His correction.  Its hard to embrace, but He's worth it!

(In a follow-up blog I will post some truths from Margaret Thoerkelson and a teaching she did on discerning between God's voice and the enemy's.  We can know exactly whose voice we are hearing and how to avoid pitfalls of deception)

The Probability of Pruning and The Christmas Season

       One image continues to stick with me as Advent begins.

        Its a stump.

       Are you stumped?  Seems strange doesn't it?  But again and again I seem to stumble on this humble picture of Israel, as a stump and the powerful, yet tender shoot of Jesse coming forth from its plateaued top.

      I have been hearing and seeing this image everywhere.  In the advent devotional we read.  At Church from the speaker.  I even inadvertently made stumps as candles to be gifts.  When you keep coming across the same image I suppose its good to ask God, why?  But I didn't, until it was too late . . .

     Let me explain.  I have come to see this image as a picture of pruning.  God cutting back those beautiful branches, so One branch could be revealed.  It is only branch we need.  The only branch that all branches will bow too.  Its that tender shoot of Jesse.

    It speaks of hope.  In the midst of all things axed, it shoots forth.  In the midst of a seemingly dead looking dried up log it still says, "Wait a minute!  There is still life here!  All is not lost!"    Though tender and lowly, life will come again.   God was saying it to Israel then and He's saying it to us today.

    Have you ever felt the ax on your branches?

Maybe its a lost job, or a deal that didn't go through?  Maybe its a speeding ticket on the way to church? (I might know something about this)  Maybe its a broken friendship or broken down car?  Or even something more difficult?

    Whatever it is God might be trying to get our attention.  The ax might be ready to slice off those beautiful branches so that Jesse's root may be seen again.  In the rush of self-effort we may have lost sight of Our Only Hope.  The busyness in our branches might be blocking our view to see the tender glory and beauty of our gentle Savior.
 
     And so sometimes He might allow the ax to swing.  We might hear those branches hit the forest floor with a crack.  But if we look for Jesse's branch, we won't lose hope.  In the midst of humbling losses we can reach for that shining stem.  If we quiet ourselves, and gaze just a bit longer we might hear His gentle voice drawing, much like those Shepherds did on that first night.  They were the few that were quiet enough to hear.

   We aren't called only to what we CAN do.  We are only called to what we CAN DO IN CHRIST.  For He will come as the Vinedresser looking to prune off the busyness, the rush, the things done without Him, so He can be revealed.  In this Christmas season, the temptation to rush is great.  But when we rush off without Him He is obligated to help us come low again, so that Branch can again be lifted high.

   He promises, "Every branch in me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Abide in me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the Vine.  Neither can you unless you abide in me.  I am the vine and I am the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in Him, He is that who bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. "  John 15:2-5

   So I am again learning of Him, for He is gentle and humble at heart (Matthew 11:29).   I am trying to slow down.  I am trying to resist the urge to create every Pinterest craft and buy every promising toy.  I am trying to gaze a little longer and stick a little closer.  I am trying to find the Branch, and ever learning to hold on tight.

Fog-Lifter: Praying for our Nation Again

         "Too much talk, not enough prayer."  It was that still little voice speaking when I asked God what was going on with America.

     I haven't asked much, I admit it.  Like everyone else I have been pretty distracted with good things-my kids, my life, my goals and my marriage.  All good things.

     But, I needed a breather.  A thinking space.  A carved-out prayer time just for a tired mommy.  So graciously my husband booked a place for me to pull away for a few hours and get re-oriented after a disorienting albeit blessed year.  Having a baby is a HUGE blessing, but it can bring a baby fog that can last for at least a few months (as it should).


     As I asked the Lord what He thought of current events in America, I felt the grieving heart of God for His American church resound within my heart.    It woke me up, to say the least.  The mommy fog lifted for a moment and I knew what it meant.

    The church in America was talking OUT more than UP, ME INCLUDED.  For the one finger I wanted to point at the church I had 4 pointing back at me.  Somehow we have been deceived into thinking that if we share our opinion on social media enough, our chosen presidential candidate will be voted in and all our problems will be over.  If more and more people would just take on our opinion, we could win this thing!

Wrong.


Also  it seems every Christian has had a different opinion about who could change this nation for the better.  So now even Christians are pitted against each other in their view point.  Do you see what's happening?   That's right.  

Nothing.  

If the enemy can't distract us, than he will divide us.  And we are still not utilizing God's precise and perfect tool.   We still haven't grabbed hold of the one thing bestowed upon us that can change history.


    God's plan is different than ours, as usual.  His thoughts are higher than ours, as it clearly says.  We are taking a wooden spoon into a surgical operation, instead of a scalpel.  We are using the wrong tool.  And its getting us no where.


  He says, "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.   I Chronicles 7:14


  So let's do it!  

1)  Let's collectively humble ourselves and pray and seek His face.  What does it look like?  Maybe we are looking at prayer times in the wrong way? What if we look at prayer time as a blessing, not another task on our long list of duties.  Get a cup of coffee, find a quiet place and direct your attention on Him.  Start with 10 or 20 minutes and let it grow from there.  Get addicted to worshipping Him and finding Him.  Get refreshed by getting quiet.  In this crazy life, He gives us a way to get refueled, but when we skimp out, we actually are the ones that suffer most.

2.)Pray!  Put America at the top of your prayer list.  If you are like me your prayer list is growing all the time as your responsibilities grow.  (speaking to myself here)But if we just give this subject a few minutes a day-asking for God's will to be done, His Kingdom come-He will answer the collective cry of His church.

2.)  Let's turn from our wicked ways.  How?  Again, His ways are not our ways. Let's ask Him what offends Him.  He will surely tell us if we want to know.  Let's find it in His word.  If He shows us what is offensive to Him than surely He will help us change and steer clear.


This summer, let's press in.  Let's change history! Let's use the tools He gives us for the job!  For some this might also include a little fasting-giving up something that you think you can't live without, to lean upon Him in a more significant way.  For some chocolate might be the thing and for others going without meat or a meal everyday is more appropriate.  Lean in and ask Him.  He's faithful and loves to give us, His kids, the Kingdom.    (Luke 12:32)

Below are a list of 5 practical ways for a busy person to include prayer for America in their day.  Can you think of 5 more creative ways?

1)On a walk
2)Prayer before a meal
3)In the shower
4)Mowing the lawn
5)Driving to a destination

Two Words: Just Come

   

    Its 7am and already our 4 children are awake.  Dad is trying to get (some kind of) quiet time on the back porch with his coffee.  Voices are chattering, doors are slamming, drawers are opening and shutting.  Life is swirling.  And its only 7.  

    I am reminded of a verse I read earlier in the week.  I take in a huge breath of air and release a grateful sigh.   He's here, in the midst of my lively ones.  In the midst of my messy, door slamming, baby crying, chattering house.  He's already here.  That's good news.  That would make anyone sigh with relief.  God is already here waiting for me to do just one thing.


   Here is what I read:

"Therefore, He is able to save completely all those who come to Him because He ever lives to intercede for them."  Hebrews 7:25



    Did you see it?  This morning I did.  Read it again.  There it is.  A clear delineation of responsibility.  What's He asking of me today?  Just to come to Him.  And what does He promise those who do that simple thing?  Something exceedingly great.   He promises to SAVE them COMPLETELY.  Big sigh.  Aaaah.  His burden, not mine.  And on top of that He says He is constantly, forever praying for me.  Insert another big sigh.  The crushing weight is lifted off my shoulders.


      This is the Gospel I signed up for.  This is the "weight-lifted-off-my-shoulders God" who I fell in love with.  But in a world swirling with responsibility, complex problems, busyness and sometimes confusion its easy to forget what I signed up for.  But there it is again.  His simple Calling on my life.  I wish it had a more prominent ring to it or sounded more eloquent.  After 25 years shouldn't I get some kind of edgy title (speaking facetiously)?

Nope.

    Its not the way of the Gospel.  This is our inside-out God with an upside-down Kingdom who shows up in our messy lives.  The pharisees were constantly having to learn this.  In fact Jesus said to be careful of those who put heavy weights on you that you can hardly lift.  Watch out for those who pervert His simple Gospel!  Run the other way!  Steer clear of anything that makes it complicated!    (Matthew 23:3-5)

   Why?  Because He already attained it.  But He just wants us to do one simple thing.

    Two words:  Just come.

     And keep coming.

   I can hear my own version of Dory from Finding Nemo. "Just keep coming, Just keep coming . . ."

    And in even simpler terms,  He is saying keep TALKING to me.  Talk to me in the quietness of morning.  Talk to me while you do the dishes, chase children and wipe bottoms.  Talk to me in twos and threes (He really likes it when we talk to Him with each other Matt.18:19)  You can always talk to me.  You can always come.  I know you don't have it altogether yet.  I know you haven't arrived.  I will do that part.  You do yours.


  Teach your kids to come.  Tell your neighbors and your friends.  I am good.  I am gentle.  I am humble.  I am compassionate and kind.  So come.  Just do that and I will do the rest.  On top of that I will bring rest to your weary soul.    (Matt. 11:28)

    Just come.  And He will do the REST.