For All the Broken Ones . . .

                    "Mommy, Mommy, its my turn to go with you!"  Olivia urgently reminds me.  We have started taking turns when we go to the beach.  One on one time with our children has become harder and harder to pull off these days.  They have figured out if they get up early enough we can more easily squeeze in a "date".    Josiah had already been beach combing earlier with Dad.  And now it was Olivia's turn.

                    So, we walk.  We gaze.  We let the morning sun warm our cheeks and feel the morning breeze chill our legs.  Fishermen are already out with a trusty herron or two alongside to cherry pick from their catch.  And we are searching.

                       "Ooooh, look at this one!  It looks like a heart!"  Olivia squeals with delight.

                       "Its broken though.  Try to look for the ones without the holes."  I reply, teaching her from years of experience in the craft of shell searching.

                       "But I like it." Olivia responds with disappointment.

                       Okay, you can't argue with that, can you?

                        "Okay put it in your bag." I reply.


              Over and over again, she is drawn to the broken ones.  I patiently point out the flaws and she tells me about the beautiful eye-popping colors and the redemptive new shape she sees formed by broken edges.   And I realize its much like God with us.  We can't impress Him with our flawlessness.  He is drawn to our broken edges. He takes delight in our unique bold colors and non-uniform shapes. He isn't afraid of our brokenness, but rather drawn to it.  He dwells with the broken and brings redemption to our flaws (Psalm 51:17).  He takes what another calls broken and calls it beautiful, just like Olivia was doing this morning with her tiny treasures.

             
                          The sea is calm today.  I remember the Sea of Glass that The Good Book says surrounds His Throne.  It stretches for miles, and I try to picture a Man in the middle and multitudes leaning in for a glance.

                 A thought stirs inside that forms a knot in my throat and causes my eyes to water.  Not only does He know the grains of sand on the seashore-every single one.  But, He also knows the shells, every single one.  Every single flawless one.  Every single broken one.  Even every single shell my Olivia would find today.  He knows it all.  He is God over the vast, endless spaces and God over the broken, tiny particles of sand.  He is God over the countless miles of horizon and He knows each brightly colored  shell along our path.   This One, He is unsearchable, and yet He has invited us to search Him out.

                 

Do You Love Correction? I am working on it . . .

On my heart tonight: "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction is stupid." Proverbs 12:1. 

          You heard it here, from the book that minces no words-if you hate correction you are unwise (in nicer, more palatable terms). Of course we can examine what this means a little further and realize the author was saying "God's correction is good, why despise it?! "

          So often we can lump any negative feelings we have in the same pile.  Bad feelings=bad and that must mean there is nothing God wants to show us in them.  It's true, it might be just a passing wind or an onslaught from our enemy.  But God could also want to show us something within them.  The only way to find out is to ask HIM.  We can DO NOTHING without Him (John 15:5).  So we need His help to examine these emotions.  But we would rather not.  Or we would rather "think our way through it".  Or we would rather push it all away.  We do this because we don't know how to handle the way we have known correction in the past.  It was either too harsh, without mercy or too light.  And because there is no perfect human authority figure we are all on some variance of that scale.  But, there was a man who was perfect.  He embodied all that is good.  He has a Father who likes to bestow on us good gifts.  His Spirit loves to lead us gently, but very specifically when we ask Him.  He loves to pick us back up again when we mess up and lead us into a life  of right thinking and behaving that is life giving and full of joy.  We can be really hard on ourselves.  And the enemy is always looking to condemn us too.  So sometimes its much easier just to put all those negative emotions in a pile and say "forget about it!"  But, I believe if we hold God's hand and ask Him to help us, we can find some real jewels of His correction in that pile of "you know what".  We might find lies lurking behind those emotions, empowering them.  We might find behavior and thinking that needs His readjusting and correction.  Let that pile be the fertilizer from which we mine His truth. It is worth examining those emotions to find the root. 

               For example. you might be feeling criticized by others, but why not examine the root? Maybe it's because you yourself have been critical of others in your thoughts? Or maybe there is still a root of un-forgiveness there? When we hold harsh judgement against others it holds true we will actually experience that harsh judgement for ourselves. (Matthew 6:14)

                  And guilt?  is it always something to just toss away?? No we need to examine it. Is it God actually telling us there is something not right in our behavior? If we know God's awesomely good nature we trust He will be very specific and gentle to show us if we need to change something when we ask Him. (Luke 11:13 ) When we toss out these feelings too fast rather than go to the root we actually could toss out God's conviction or correction. By learning to examine these feelings more closely and ask the Faithful Holy Spirit to guide us, we will become ones who love discipline. That's where I want to be!

              Ever learning and growing to Love His correction.  Its hard to embrace, but He's worth it!

(In a follow-up blog I will post some truths from Margaret Thoerkelson and a teaching she did on discerning between God's voice and the enemy's.  We can know exactly whose voice we are hearing and how to avoid pitfalls of deception)

The Probability of Pruning and The Christmas Season

       One image continues to stick with me as Advent begins.

        Its a stump.

       Are you stumped?  Seems strange doesn't it?  But again and again I seem to stumble on this humble picture of Israel, as a stump and the powerful, yet tender shoot of Jesse coming forth from its plateaued top.

      I have been hearing and seeing this image everywhere.  In the advent devotional we read.  At Church from the speaker.  I even inadvertently made stumps as candles to be gifts.  When you keep coming across the same image I suppose its good to ask God, why?  But I didn't, until it was too late . . .

     Let me explain.  I have come to see this image as a picture of pruning.  God cutting back those beautiful branches, so One branch could be revealed.  It is only branch we need.  The only branch that all branches will bow too.  Its that tender shoot of Jesse.

    It speaks of hope.  In the midst of all things axed, it shoots forth.  In the midst of a seemingly dead looking dried up log it still says, "Wait a minute!  There is still life here!  All is not lost!"    Though tender and lowly, life will come again.   God was saying it to Israel then and He's saying it to us today.

    Have you ever felt the ax on your branches?

Maybe its a lost job, or a deal that didn't go through?  Maybe its a speeding ticket on the way to church? (I might know something about this)  Maybe its a broken friendship or broken down car?  Or even something more difficult?

    Whatever it is God might be trying to get our attention.  The ax might be ready to slice off those beautiful branches so that Jesse's root may be seen again.  In the rush of self-effort we may have lost sight of Our Only Hope.  The busyness in our branches might be blocking our view to see the tender glory and beauty of our gentle Savior.
 
     And so sometimes He might allow the ax to swing.  We might hear those branches hit the forest floor with a crack.  But if we look for Jesse's branch, we won't lose hope.  In the midst of humbling losses we can reach for that shining stem.  If we quiet ourselves, and gaze just a bit longer we might hear His gentle voice drawing, much like those Shepherds did on that first night.  They were the few that were quiet enough to hear.

   We aren't called only to what we CAN do.  We are only called to what we CAN DO IN CHRIST.  For He will come as the Vinedresser looking to prune off the busyness, the rush, the things done without Him, so He can be revealed.  In this Christmas season, the temptation to rush is great.  But when we rush off without Him He is obligated to help us come low again, so that Branch can again be lifted high.

   He promises, "Every branch in me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Abide in me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the Vine.  Neither can you unless you abide in me.  I am the vine and I am the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in Him, He is that who bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. "  John 15:2-5

   So I am again learning of Him, for He is gentle and humble at heart (Matthew 11:29).   I am trying to slow down.  I am trying to resist the urge to create every Pinterest craft and buy every promising toy.  I am trying to gaze a little longer and stick a little closer.  I am trying to find the Branch, and ever learning to hold on tight.

Fog-Lifter: Praying for our Nation Again

         "Too much talk, not enough prayer."  It was that still little voice speaking when I asked God what was going on with America.

     I haven't asked much, I admit it.  Like everyone else I have been pretty distracted with good things-my kids, my life, my goals and my marriage.  All good things.

     But, I needed a breather.  A thinking space.  A carved-out prayer time just for a tired mommy.  So graciously my husband booked a place for me to pull away for a few hours and get re-oriented after a disorienting albeit blessed year.  Having a baby is a HUGE blessing, but it can bring a baby fog that can last for at least a few months (as it should).


     As I asked the Lord what He thought of current events in America, I felt the grieving heart of God for His American church resound within my heart.    It woke me up, to say the least.  The mommy fog lifted for a moment and I knew what it meant.

    The church in America was talking OUT more than UP, ME INCLUDED.  For the one finger I wanted to point at the church I had 4 pointing back at me.  Somehow we have been deceived into thinking that if we share our opinion on social media enough, our chosen presidential candidate will be voted in and all our problems will be over.  If more and more people would just take on our opinion, we could win this thing!

Wrong.


Also  it seems every Christian has had a different opinion about who could change this nation for the better.  So now even Christians are pitted against each other in their view point.  Do you see what's happening?   That's right.  

Nothing.  

If the enemy can't distract us, than he will divide us.  And we are still not utilizing God's precise and perfect tool.   We still haven't grabbed hold of the one thing bestowed upon us that can change history.


    God's plan is different than ours, as usual.  His thoughts are higher than ours, as it clearly says.  We are taking a wooden spoon into a surgical operation, instead of a scalpel.  We are using the wrong tool.  And its getting us no where.


  He says, "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.   I Chronicles 7:14


  So let's do it!  

1)  Let's collectively humble ourselves and pray and seek His face.  What does it look like?  Maybe we are looking at prayer times in the wrong way? What if we look at prayer time as a blessing, not another task on our long list of duties.  Get a cup of coffee, find a quiet place and direct your attention on Him.  Start with 10 or 20 minutes and let it grow from there.  Get addicted to worshipping Him and finding Him.  Get refreshed by getting quiet.  In this crazy life, He gives us a way to get refueled, but when we skimp out, we actually are the ones that suffer most.

2.)Pray!  Put America at the top of your prayer list.  If you are like me your prayer list is growing all the time as your responsibilities grow.  (speaking to myself here)But if we just give this subject a few minutes a day-asking for God's will to be done, His Kingdom come-He will answer the collective cry of His church.

2.)  Let's turn from our wicked ways.  How?  Again, His ways are not our ways. Let's ask Him what offends Him.  He will surely tell us if we want to know.  Let's find it in His word.  If He shows us what is offensive to Him than surely He will help us change and steer clear.


This summer, let's press in.  Let's change history! Let's use the tools He gives us for the job!  For some this might also include a little fasting-giving up something that you think you can't live without, to lean upon Him in a more significant way.  For some chocolate might be the thing and for others going without meat or a meal everyday is more appropriate.  Lean in and ask Him.  He's faithful and loves to give us, His kids, the Kingdom.    (Luke 12:32)

Below are a list of 5 practical ways for a busy person to include prayer for America in their day.  Can you think of 5 more creative ways?

1)On a walk
2)Prayer before a meal
3)In the shower
4)Mowing the lawn
5)Driving to a destination

Two Words: Just Come

   

    Its 7am and already our 4 children are awake.  Dad is trying to get (some kind of) quiet time on the back porch with his coffee.  Voices are chattering, doors are slamming, drawers are opening and shutting.  Life is swirling.  And its only 7.  

    I am reminded of a verse I read earlier in the week.  I take in a huge breath of air and release a grateful sigh.   He's here, in the midst of my lively ones.  In the midst of my messy, door slamming, baby crying, chattering house.  He's already here.  That's good news.  That would make anyone sigh with relief.  God is already here waiting for me to do just one thing.


   Here is what I read:

"Therefore, He is able to save completely all those who come to Him because He ever lives to intercede for them."  Hebrews 7:25



    Did you see it?  This morning I did.  Read it again.  There it is.  A clear delineation of responsibility.  What's He asking of me today?  Just to come to Him.  And what does He promise those who do that simple thing?  Something exceedingly great.   He promises to SAVE them COMPLETELY.  Big sigh.  Aaaah.  His burden, not mine.  And on top of that He says He is constantly, forever praying for me.  Insert another big sigh.  The crushing weight is lifted off my shoulders.


      This is the Gospel I signed up for.  This is the "weight-lifted-off-my-shoulders God" who I fell in love with.  But in a world swirling with responsibility, complex problems, busyness and sometimes confusion its easy to forget what I signed up for.  But there it is again.  His simple Calling on my life.  I wish it had a more prominent ring to it or sounded more eloquent.  After 25 years shouldn't I get some kind of edgy title (speaking facetiously)?

Nope.

    Its not the way of the Gospel.  This is our inside-out God with an upside-down Kingdom who shows up in our messy lives.  The pharisees were constantly having to learn this.  In fact Jesus said to be careful of those who put heavy weights on you that you can hardly lift.  Watch out for those who pervert His simple Gospel!  Run the other way!  Steer clear of anything that makes it complicated!    (Matthew 23:3-5)

   Why?  Because He already attained it.  But He just wants us to do one simple thing.

    Two words:  Just come.

     And keep coming.

   I can hear my own version of Dory from Finding Nemo. "Just keep coming, Just keep coming . . ."

    And in even simpler terms,  He is saying keep TALKING to me.  Talk to me in the quietness of morning.  Talk to me while you do the dishes, chase children and wipe bottoms.  Talk to me in twos and threes (He really likes it when we talk to Him with each other Matt.18:19)  You can always talk to me.  You can always come.  I know you don't have it altogether yet.  I know you haven't arrived.  I will do that part.  You do yours.


  Teach your kids to come.  Tell your neighbors and your friends.  I am good.  I am gentle.  I am humble.  I am compassionate and kind.  So come.  Just do that and I will do the rest.  On top of that I will bring rest to your weary soul.    (Matt. 11:28)

    Just come.  And He will do the REST.

How Deep Do Your Roots Run?: The Story of Two Tiny Seeds

            "I am going to get ahead of the game." I thought.  "We are going to have FUN!" I thought.  We did.  I had each of the smaller kids, Olivia and Daniel take turns planting seeds in cups I found at the dollar store the night before.  I thought I could kill two birds with one stone-begin some seedlings at the end of February just in time for spring planting and make it a science lesson for the kids.  "YES! I am ON IT!"  Sometimes I admit I have those feelings of accomplishment as a mom.  Well the sense of accomplishment lasted for a day when I realized I had no where to set the newly planted seeds inside so that they would receive enough light.  It dawned on me it would take a lot of work to build a shelf in the midst of an already hectic day.  Long story short, the seeds ended up sitting outside on a table fully exposed to all the elements . . . for three weeks.

         Life went on.  We left on a five day trip.  Temperatures spiked and dropped, as they do at the beginning of March.  Storms came and went.  Winds howled across the yard.  All the while the little seed cups were tipped over on the tray which was now filled with water.  Another failed mom project . . .

  "Mom when are we going to plant these?"  The kids asked.
  "Uh . . . I think we might have to re-do them." I explained.
  "Mom what happened to our seeds?"  They kept probing
  "Yeah, I gotta get to that. Gotta get more cups and seeds."  Which really wasn't going to happen as the pace of our life picked up.  Soccer started.  Other school projects took over.  Deadlines and details flooded our lives after we returned from our trip.

    The little tray lay a mess, with tiny vulnerable seeds exposed to storm after storm and gust after gust of wind.

    Maybe you have felt like those little seeds?  Forgotten.  Left out there to fend for yourself.  At first you were planted so snuggly in your seed bed.  Life was good.  Things were cozy.  You were soaking up the nutrients and moisture, getting fuller and fatter.  And life was starting to grow on the inside of you.

   But then the storms came.  The winds let loose on you.  You thought you wouldn't make it.  You felt exposed, vulnerable, shaken and forgotten.  The environment you thought was protected suddenly became the seed bed of testing.

    Maybe someone betrayed you?
    Maybe your expectations got crushed?
    Maybe finances are depleted?
    Maybe an unexpected event left you breathless and bewildered?
    Or maybe you have experienced the ache of loss and loneliness?

   Whatever it is I say there is hope little seed!  Do not despair! All is not lost.

   Let me explain.  We finally cleaned up the ravaged seed tray as we did some purging of the backyard to get ready for Spring.  I went outside to throw out the failed seed project.  But, as I studied each tiny seed cup I saw something remarkable.  Two little seeds had started to grow!  All was not lost.  These hardy little pearls had sprouted, even thriving!  They had actually produced life in the midst of harsh temperatures, wild storms and heavy wind.  How?

   They put down their roots.  They clung the earth around them. They soaked up the sun when it shown to warm them and soaked up the rain as it pounded upon them.  Even though they were lashed by the stormy winds they still had the GRACE to cling.

    As I contemplated these little marvels, a question came to mind:  What kind of a seed will I be?
When storms rage and testing comes, will I cling?  Will I sing?  Will I thrive in the midst of testing, even bearing fruit?  Or will the elements prove too much for me?  Will I let offense overtake me?  Will I recoil in unforgiveness?  Will I believe the lie that I am forgotten?  Or will I believe the truth that though tested, I am firmly planted in His hand?  Or Will I give up and give in and let the wind have its way?

    Apostle Paul prayed:

  "For this reason, I kneel before the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.  I pray that He may grant you, according to the riches of His glory to be strengthened with power in the inner man through His Spirit, and that the Messiah may dwell in your hearts through faith, I pray that you, being ROOTED and FIRMLY PLANTED in LOVE, may be able to comprehend what is the length and width, height and depth of God's love.  and to know the Messiah's love that surpasses knowledge, so you may be filled with ALL THE FULLNESS OF GOD. "  Ephesians 3:14-19


    So go on, soak up His love!  Whether you are in the seed bed of rest or the soil of testing, go deep.  Search out His LOVE.  Reach out for His affection.  Soak up His glorious light as you choose to worship.  Hang on to ancient time-tested truths.  Cling to soul saving nutrients found in His Word.  Don't let go.  Don't give up.  Don't give yourself up to the direction of winds of this world.  Refuse to be pulled out.  Don't let the season of testing uproot you.  Know deep down that you are Beloved.  Believe that though you are shaken, you are not removed from His loving, firm grip.  Because little seed, if you stay snug planted, you will soon produce worthy and glorious fruit.  You will be filled with all the fullness of God.

 

 
  On the left, Olivia's Sugar Snap Pea seedling and on the right, Daniel's Little Marvel Pea seedling

Beat Fear by Walking in Love

    A week ago I was singing in our little amateur Friday morning worship and prayer set when I got ambushed.  Basically, I sing for selfish reasons.  I admit it.  I am not the best singer and only learned what singing "on-key" was in my 20s.  But that doesn't even mean I do it well or do it all the time.  No, I sing because I want to see what God is going to do and say when we sing His songs and His Word.  Something unexpected usually happens.

     Last week, we were reading and singing and praying out of I John 4 starting at vs. 16

16 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 

17 By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. 

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 

19 We love, because He first loved us. 

20 If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 

21 And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

  And of course I realized some things as we sang and examined this portion of scripture.  I saw LOVE being more like a circle.  I know, you might be picturing scenes from the Lion King, but that is not quite what I am seeing.  

   First, we get saved-we fall in love with Jesus for the first time.  He is glorious.  We feel totally different.  But then as time goes on, we can lose our Love.  Fear starts to creep in.  Hidden thoughts of criticism towards others flood our minds.  Bitterness tries to take root as we get hurt along the journey.  Pride-The "I am better than them" syndrome-sneaks in there without us even realizing as we pull ourselves up by our own boot straps (so to speak).  Trauma tries to take hold as we pass through difficult life events.  Lies try to move in and set up camp.  And then finally fear tries to cut us off from others.  Fear we will be criticized, rejected and unforgiven.    Fear we will get what they get or become like "them" if we reach out and just  . . . show love?  

  At this point, the enemy has us where he wants us.  We are paralyzed.  We didn't finish or complete the circle.  Somewhere something tried to choke out and harness the unending, pervasive, persevering LOVE of God.  We DID receive it, right?  So where did it go?

    " . . . the one who fears is not perfected in love."  Not completed.  Unfinished.  Half-way there, but definitely NOT there.  Filled with fear.  Stuck.  Compromised.  

    We've all been there.  ALL OF US.  Because we are all in a battle.  And we all have an enemy who wants us unfinished and paralyzed.  But the Spirit within us urges us ON.  The One who COMPLETES the Work He started in us beckons us to follow Him.   He is the One saying to our Spirit, "keep going".  He is the One who meets us in the midst of trauma and darkness and says "This won't destroy you.  You will LOVE again."  He is the One who exposes our inner hidden thoughts of pride, criticism and un-forgiveness.  He gives us the power to forever take them captive and shove them off the plank of our weary shipwrecked lives.  

     If we want to leave the prison of Fear, we HAVE to complete the circle.  We have to get rid of our hidden critical thoughts and "take them captive." as it says in II Corinthians 10:5.  I remember years ago my YWAM leader saying that many times a person feels constantly criticized because they are constantly critical.  At this point, the fear of man takes hold.  I was so convicted.  When I really examined my thought life it was filled with criticism towards others.  And, I also had hidden bitterness, which along with all my critical thoughts left me feeling condemned and ostracized.  God wasn't doing it.  I was.  

    Ooh and the hidden pride.  It tip toes in the back door of our thoughts so stealth you hardly even know its there.  It quietly, but emphatically says in our minds in first person, "I am better than you."  But the funny thing is it has a flip-side that also tells you "You aren't as good as everyone else." Somehow it says that you are unworthy.  Both sides of the coin are lies.  Both cut you off from knowing your security in Christ ALONE.  The circle is cut short again.  You are afraid to be loved and to love.  

    So was I convicted?  . . . YES.  And more than that, I was convinced.  "We love because He first loved us."  That undying, unending, stronger-than-death love is REAL.  We can rediscover it.  We can re-ignite it.  He can clean us up.  He can set us free.  We can be COMPLETE and PERFECTED in love again.  We can receive His love again and GIVE IT AWAY.  Fear can be driven out.  Boldness can be our name once more.  He can be our song.